31 de marzo de 2008

The Master

I was just a little demon

Who needed a real master

I could not control my fire

Which didn’t grow that faster

He came big and violent

And rose his hand to teach me

He was just now and then and sometimes

He gave me what I was to be


I hated his beatings and torments

Feared his fire and his whip

His wicked sight, his irrationality

The endless bleeding of my lip


I was then a little monster

Who needed training and wings

He gave me all I needed

Now I’m paying all his sins

5 de marzo de 2008

Modified Dreams... Capitulo ocho... The Road To Anger

This time I see myself taller, thinner and lonely again, surrounded by people who called themselves to be friends of mine but never felt like that. The, among the, there’s someone. She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen and I’m lucky to be the one she hugged and kissed. I feel love for the very first time. She was so pure, so white and with eyes so clear that I felt unworthy of her kisses. I loved her. I wanted to be with her forever. But then appeared the beats, the man who said he lived only to serve God and Jesus Christ our Lord. Her father was to me like the beast he so much hated. He was to me like the same devil he was running away from and escaped from. He took her away from me and I foolishly gave up, losing her, even after being forgiven for my mistakes. I lost her for the silliest reason ever: religion.

I smoke, I see myself smoking to clam down. I realize how hard my life had been. I struggle to reach my goals, to make my dreams come true and I got it. I try to forget that angelical woman, and I got it







LIES!








When I found this other girl who painted my life with passion and lust I thought I had forgotten the angel, but no. I did lose my feelings about her but I could not forget her eyes; her kisses were erased with kisses of fire and her hugs were erased with her nude warmth. I felt love again and I fell defeated to her feet. I was devoted to her as she was devoted to me in the beginning. I was happy.

NO! THAT’S A LIE!

I was left there, humiliated, abandoned, abhorred because of lies she only saw in her mind. I was told lie after lie and each one was a brick of water that the truth frost into ice. A thick wall started to separate me from the world. It crated a dungeon to hide the angel that was to be born: the Anger’s Angel.

I see me in the dark, screaming and shouting out the treasons i was victim of. The last thing I hear is the angelical voice saying: “I regret the days I spent with you, I see now that those were a waste of time” then I hear the walls falling down and releasing my wrath. That’s the road to anger.

I’m still here fighting.
I don’t want to become what I fear the most.
But it’s too late.