Modified Dreams... Capitulo Nueve... Bridge

He felt the air cooling his face as he was falling, rushing to the water. He felt like flying. He held his breath and entered in the river’s cold water.

Then he opened his eyes. The water was so clear that he could see the stones at the bottom; the sunlight could go straight to them and make them shine. While sinking, he glanced at his feet and hands so white with the coolness. After that, he looked upwards the surface to see the bubbles going up as they were released from his mouth.

He thought that he could see the bridge which he had just jumped from.

As he had no air in his lungs, he sank more and more; until a colder layer of water surprised him. He resisted this sudden feeling of fear to it and kept on sinking. When he reached the bottom he felt the slippery stones, the softness of the sand and the calm of the silence.

His ears started to ache and his heart’s beatings became louder and stronger. But he didn’t want to go up so he held a heavy stone and stayed there; quiet, silent, calmed.

He was able to hear some noises which he thought were kids swimming in the surface.

After a few moments he couldn’t bear the pain in his ears anymore and his lungs were desperate for air. He let go off the stone and swam the way up. It was a long shot now that he needed air so much. Finally he emerged and took a deep breath. It was really close to dying he thought. He also thought that it was enough just jumping to the water and not to go down to the bottom.

Then he realized that the kids around him were staring at him astonished. They shouted excitedly asking him to do it again, to jump from the bridge again. They didn’t know he was trying to kill himself.

He nodded in approval nut said nothing. He walked out of the river and climbed up to the 15 meter bridge.

His hands were shaking, his beatings were strong and the wind felt colder. Death kissed hi cheek when he finally jumped for the last time.

Wings

He got little wings. He resembled those little angels from Valentine’s Day’s cards. But he had to hide his wings because it was not normal. He never let his mother hug him ever since he noticed his first feathers; he also tried to avoid being seen nude. He hat to use a large dressing gown so nobody could see him after a shower. He had to wear loose clothes and walk very erect so his wings would not be seen in the streets.

His wings were little when he was little. Every time he was alone he examined his wings, touched them, felt them and tried to move them which he could once in a while.

When he was with his parents nobody noticed anything. Sometimes even he forgot about this. He went to school, talked with his classmates, played soccer and fell in love as any common child. He was naive at that time, he did not know the world, he was blind and his wings were white as moonlight.

As the time went on, his wings became bigger and larger. His pure color white went gray, dark gray. Every time he heard something he did not know but suspected about, his feathers went a little darker. But his was so subtle that he did not realize when the white disappeared. Lie by lie purity was lost.

At times he almost forgot about that too. There were days when a hug from her would make him go blank about it. She would kiss him now and then and he would be hers. No matter how large his wings were now, it would not be a problem.

She was the one who erased his wings, the one who melted them with her fire. He was deeply grateful to her from liberating him of that. She was all he needed and all he wanted. He was free at last; he had a reason to live. Then her love faded along with his smile. The wings reappeared blacker, bigger and stronger.

He had nobody to make him forget his wings.

This time he was alone, seen as a weird creature, as an odd mixture of things.

Sometimes I have to remember that I believed in love, but it was long ago when my wings were too little and too clear to be seen.

The Master

I was just a little demon

Who needed a real master

I could not control my fire

Which didn’t grow that faster

He came big and violent

And rose his hand to teach me

He was just now and then and sometimes

He gave me what I was to be

I hated his beatings and torments

Feared his fire and his whip

His wicked sight, his irrationality

The endless bleeding of my lip

I was then a little monster

Who needed training and wings

He gave me all I needed

Now I’m paying all his sins

Modified Dreams... Capitulo ocho... The Road To Anger

This time I see myself taller, thinner and lonely again, surrounded by people who called themselves to be friends of mine but never felt like that. The, among the, there’s someone. She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen and I’m lucky to be the one she hugged and kissed. I feel love for the very first time. She was so pure, so white and with eyes so clear that I felt unworthy of her kisses. I loved her. I wanted to be with her forever. But then appeared the beats, the man who said he lived only to serve God and Jesus Christ our Lord. Her father was to me like the beast he so much hated. He was to me like the same devil he was running away from and escaped from. He took her away from me and I foolishly gave up, losing her, even after being forgiven for my mistakes. I lost her for the silliest reason ever: religion.

I smoke, I see myself smoking to clam down. I realize how hard my life had been. I struggle to reach my goals, to make my dreams come true and I got it. I try to forget that angelical woman, and I got it







LIES!








When I found this other girl who painted my life with passion and lust I thought I had forgotten the angel, but no. I did lose my feelings about her but I could not forget her eyes; her kisses were erased with kisses of fire and her hugs were erased with her nude warmth. I felt love again and I fell defeated to her feet. I was devoted to her as she was devoted to me in the beginning. I was happy.

NO! THAT’S A LIE!

I was left there, humiliated, abandoned, abhorred because of lies she only saw in her mind. I was told lie after lie and each one was a brick of water that the truth frost into ice. A thick wall started to separate me from the world. It crated a dungeon to hide the angel that was to be born: the Anger’s Angel.

I see me in the dark, screaming and shouting out the treasons i was victim of. The last thing I hear is the angelical voice saying: “I regret the days I spent with you, I see now that those were a waste of time” then I hear the walls falling down and releasing my wrath. That’s the road to anger.

I’m still here fighting.
I don’t want to become what I fear the most.
But it’s too late.

Playing Dead... Nightmaring Plays... Final Part...

Continues from part IV

Rodney goes out escorted by Reeds who stays down the threshold waiting for Alison. They enter while Dave speaks.

Dave: that’s how you’ve always been! You throw the stone and hide your hands… It’s not that nobody does it, but you coward never admitted it! You played this game just as you wanted it to outcome! Now I’m dead, but I swear you’ll never make her happy as I could have made her! I wonder if you (the audience) have ever felt this sensation of being robbed. But, I think it’s more than that… I feel as if I had been taken away the only reason I had to live… (He sees Alison sitting at the table) Now I guess you my friend are going to betray me as everyone.

Lt Hound: Could you say your name aloud please?

Alison: Alison Brown.

Lt. Hound: did you know the victim?

Alison: yes sir, He was my best friend

Lt Hound: perfect, so do you know any possible reason he might have had to commit suicide?

Alison: Actually I do…

Dave: Shit! I shouldn’t have trusted you!

Lt. Hound: Yes?

Alison: Well I’m not sure if I’m supposed to do this…

Lt. Hound: in fact you have no choice as you may be obstructing with our investigation

Alison: ok, well… like a week ago he gave me this (hands Hound a letter)

Lt Hound: (reading) <>

Dave: Wait! Didn’t write that! ... What’s going on here?

Lt Hound: (still reading) <>

Dave: no, that can’t be!!

Lt Hound: (still reading) <> erm… well I think this explains quite a lot what happened.

Alison: more or less, I think he was kind of crazy and that’s why he committed suicide.

Dave: no (with his hand in his forehead) that can’t be.

Lt. Hound: ok, this is clear. Now the only thing left to do is to take the corpse to the morgue. Reeds; dismiss the witnesses and everybody else is free to go home.

Dave: No … no… no

Voice: I told you, you are a coward. You don’t dare to face the truth.

Dave: No! You made this happen! How did you do it?!

Voice: come on! I AM you! I am the things you always wanted to do but you never dared to. I hid your deeds every time it wasn’t useful if you knew them. I tried to convince you what was right, but your cold feet made you kill yourself, made me kill myself!

Dave: well, nothing matters now that I’m dead. So why don’t you tell me what happened?

Voice: it happened that you were always dead; you were blind all the time. Rodney had all the time of the world to plan his sobbing with Lucy and you didn’t even see that coming.

Dave: ufff, anyway… But here, listen. I’m not the only one who was dead and thought he was alive; (to the audience) you all are dead too! You pretend to know what is happening around you, you want to believe you know yourselves so well that nobody has the right to tell you anything. And how can I know? Well Lucy and the others couldn’t see you, but I do. Besides, you are sitting there watching this and don’t want to realise you are all living in a lie! Ask yourselves this: who are you and what do YOU want? I can swear you will believe your own lie once again.

Dave goes out and closes the door behind him.

The End.