Modified Dreams... Capitulo Nueve... Bridge

He felt the air cooling his face as he was falling, rushing to the water. He felt like flying. He held his breath and entered in the river’s cold water.

Then he opened his eyes. The water was so clear that he could see the stones at the bottom; the sunlight could go straight to them and make them shine. While sinking, he glanced at his feet and hands so white with the coolness. After that, he looked upwards the surface to see the bubbles going up as they were released from his mouth.

He thought that he could see the bridge which he had just jumped from.

As he had no air in his lungs, he sank more and more; until a colder layer of water surprised him. He resisted this sudden feeling of fear to it and kept on sinking. When he reached the bottom he felt the slippery stones, the softness of the sand and the calm of the silence.

His ears started to ache and his heart’s beatings became louder and stronger. But he didn’t want to go up so he held a heavy stone and stayed there; quiet, silent, calmed.

He was able to hear some noises which he thought were kids swimming in the surface.

After a few moments he couldn’t bear the pain in his ears anymore and his lungs were desperate for air. He let go off the stone and swam the way up. It was a long shot now that he needed air so much. Finally he emerged and took a deep breath. It was really close to dying he thought. He also thought that it was enough just jumping to the water and not to go down to the bottom.

Then he realized that the kids around him were staring at him astonished. They shouted excitedly asking him to do it again, to jump from the bridge again. They didn’t know he was trying to kill himself.

He nodded in approval nut said nothing. He walked out of the river and climbed up to the 15 meter bridge.

His hands were shaking, his beatings were strong and the wind felt colder. Death kissed hi cheek when he finally jumped for the last time.

Wings

He got little wings. He resembled those little angels from Valentine’s Day’s cards. But he had to hide his wings because it was not normal. He never let his mother hug him ever since he noticed his first feathers; he also tried to avoid being seen nude. He hat to use a large dressing gown so nobody could see him after a shower. He had to wear loose clothes and walk very erect so his wings would not be seen in the streets.

His wings were little when he was little. Every time he was alone he examined his wings, touched them, felt them and tried to move them which he could once in a while.

When he was with his parents nobody noticed anything. Sometimes even he forgot about this. He went to school, talked with his classmates, played soccer and fell in love as any common child. He was naive at that time, he did not know the world, he was blind and his wings were white as moonlight.

As the time went on, his wings became bigger and larger. His pure color white went gray, dark gray. Every time he heard something he did not know but suspected about, his feathers went a little darker. But his was so subtle that he did not realize when the white disappeared. Lie by lie purity was lost.

At times he almost forgot about that too. There were days when a hug from her would make him go blank about it. She would kiss him now and then and he would be hers. No matter how large his wings were now, it would not be a problem.

She was the one who erased his wings, the one who melted them with her fire. He was deeply grateful to her from liberating him of that. She was all he needed and all he wanted. He was free at last; he had a reason to live. Then her love faded along with his smile. The wings reappeared blacker, bigger and stronger.

He had nobody to make him forget his wings.

This time he was alone, seen as a weird creature, as an odd mixture of things.

Sometimes I have to remember that I believed in love, but it was long ago when my wings were too little and too clear to be seen.