Modified Dreams.... Capítulo Siete... Living Dream...

I was once quite naive... I had only my hopes, my wishes, my childish tenderness, my perfect love... But I lost all that...

I was walking with those words in my mind, trying to figure out what they meant but some reason blocked my memories...

suddenly I found a sight... a captivating one, a sight that could truly make me think of anything else and could truly turn me mad... this eyes were extremely exciting and were from a girl who was simply gorgeous. But she then talked to me... we became friends... our friendship lasted a week

whenever I tried to escape from her look I couldn't, she was just a spell which wouldn't let me go with my normal life... normal in some reasonable sense...

despite of all this I tought I was meant to be hers now and forever... but Actually I still wanted to know why I was thinking of those miserable words in my head again and again...


she kissed me once... It was wonderful, I was really doped, high, stoned, flipped because of that sensation I had never felt before... a kind of electricity numbed my lips from anything else.. from any other girl's kiss, sex, body... and I have to admit I did tried to forget her... damn I never got it...

I even had a strong-feeling relation with certain girl who assuredly used me... It feels no good... I swear...

Thoguh I tried strongly to forget this cursed effect that her lips had over mine I just couldn't... I had to die in life to realize she was my true salvation....

But something happened... everything I took for granted as being honest long lasting and.. I have to say; love... was a lie...

I hated everything on earth because she wasn't worth of trust as I had thought before.. she lied to me.. and I'm not a saint.. I had done a similar deceit... and I was forgiven... but I was forgiven because I had been honest in saying how things really happened and how stupid were the reasons I has to explain that fact... summing up: I got forgiveness just like God would have given me...


Now I'm thinking whether I forgive her or not... I guess I can trust her again... someday...

But the feling that I have the certainty of her lies, of the lies she is telling me now, don't let me be the good and true lover I was before her betrayal... and I always remember this feeling, remember how I looked up for words which could define the best this sensation:
betrayal, treason, mistake, lie, fake, blaming, stricken, fire, anger, rage, hell, infernus... and so on... (so, would you ask again how Anger's Angel was fed?) and for some songs which did the same: "I hope you're dong fine out there without me, cause I'm not doing so good without you" "no, no more sorrow, I paid for your mistakes" "death greets me warm, now I would just say good bye" "Say it for me, say it to me, and I'll leave this life behind me, say it if it's worth saving me" and so on...

And I can't find an answer... I only know that I have a good reason to be worried, all my "normal stuff" to do isn't enough to keep me busy thinking on something else... I have to say I'm still in love with her... though the real reasons for thinking those damned word are as simpleas this: I' not perfect... I hae commited mistakes but I've been able to carry on... so I think I'll take the oportunity to be happy and complete... she recognised her mistakes and if I was once forgiven I could forgive her now, and try to trust her once again and for the last time...but this time... ours will last forever... I gave her another opportunity...

How naive I am... I will never be what I was someday for her... Because she kept on liying, she has lied to me for the very last time... she is the only woman I should have never trust...

Then I know why I had thse words in my head:

I was once quite naive... I had only my hopes, my wishes, my childish tenderness, my perfect love... But I lost all that...

Anger... Intro para el show de los viejos...

I don't wanna know your senseless reasons, I don't wanna hear your words that only rise my pain. Everything you say makes me feel stoned with fear to lies, it makes me more and more concious of your mistakes, everything from you isolates me each time a little more.

When I remember that, I feel how my anger screams and throbs from the inside trying to make me feel as if I were burning beneath my skin; I remember... and I fell my blood running like lava through my veins, hurting me, driving me mad, blinding me, making me scratch my own chest, trying to liberate some of the rage other arose in me and that I carry inside.

Haven't you realized yet?
Can't you understand?
Can't you see your words hurt like wounds in my skin?
Cant' you see it's your fault that I feel this way?
Haven't you understood that reminding your kisses consumes me?

I face this all alone, I try to forget everything, but even death could not erase the anger in my soul. Moreover I'm not able to let go this sensation in my eyes, in my throat, in my heart... This sensation led by every tear, every beating, every memory,(a shot)
with fire, (a scream)
with fury, (a cry)
with your lies!, (a smoke)
with pain, (a beating)
with death, (a breathing)

with anger...

Modified Dreams... Capitulo Seis... She

Here I am...

Dreaming, or at least trying to...

I lie in my bed, my eyes closed and a cigarrete between my fingers, trying not to think about some betrayal I was victim of not long ago...

Then, deepened in my harrased toughts I have a chance, I got a hope to forget...

She, my Eternal Friend, closes my eyes... touches my teary eyes... her soft skin releaves me from any raging nightmare...

I feel Her arms.. her kisses, her fragance, her balmy body...

I hold her in my arms, like if I were trying to not let her escape, to keep her by my side so I could let my angst filled heart ease from any suffering...

She kisses me, while my hand goes down through her naked body... our bodies blend into one unique ardent and perfect complementation...

Then, I can see us... She is cuddled in my arms, playing asleep while I give her another kiss...

We both hope that moment could last forever, away from any pain, away from those people that hurt us so much...

I hope She could be here by my side right now and forever...